You Know You're Obsessed When
by WanderingPirate
Summary: Is there anyone left that isn't sick of lists that mock the movies and books we all love? I guess we'll all find out by seeing how many people click on this...You know you want to.


Disclaimer: I think I've finally come to grips with reality long enough to say that Lord of the Rings does not belong to me…

(A/N- Oh no, I'm not doing another LIST of God Knows What, am I??? Well, hold on to your socks, people, because another one of my pointless lists is headed your way…)

You Know You're Obsessed With Lord of the Rings When:

20. You have officially been labeled as the weird kid in all of your classes, because instead of cursing, you use such exclamations as "Balrog Droppings!" and "O Sweet Lord of the Rings!"

19. You and your sister (or friend) memorized the entire Green Dragon song that Merry and Pippin sing, and you have a dance routine to match!

18. You can't watch Lord of the Rings without dressing up like one of the characters. (Seriously, that's the only way to watch it.)

17. You spent an hour practicing your elvish penmanship instead of writing that report for Environmental Science.

16. You were so excited when you found out that the cutest guy in your class had read Lord of the Rings, until you found out that he had read up to part 4 in the Book of Lost Tales, and you had only just finished part 1. Then you proceeded to lock yourself in your room for hours reading The Book of Lost Tales Part 2, because you were determined not to be out Tolkien-ed by some pretty boy.

15. You bought a bunch of plants and named them after Ents.

14. You then felt the need to read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings out loud to your plants, because you felt that they should learn where their names came from.

13. When you informed your dad that he was not to refer to your bonsai tree as "that plant" but rather by her proper name "Fimbrethel" he asked you who that was, and when you told him it was the name of an Ent, he asked you what an ent was. You then stared at him in horror, embarrassed to have him as a dad, and proceeded to recite the entire history of Ents for him.

12. Upon realizing that you didn't have any butter or flour for the Lembas bread that you were about to make, you decided that you'd walk to the nearest market, except that it was pouring rain outside. Even though your parents offered to drive you, you insisted that it was your "mission…quest….thing" and that it needed to be completed by you. So you ended up walking a half a mile to get there, and a half a mile back, in rain that was sometimes past your ankles, just so that you could refer to yourself as the Fellowship because the "Council of Elrond" entrusted you with that task. Then, when you got back home, you dressed up like an elf, listened to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack and baked Lembas bread.

11. You drew a picture of the Gates of Moria, stuck it on your bedroom door, and refuse to answer it for anyone who doesn't say "mellon" when knocking. (Even though you didn't tell anyone that they were supposed to say that, so only your Lord of the Rings obsessed sister can gain access to your room.) When your parents asked what that weird drawing on your door was, you replied with something like, "It's quite simple. If you are a friend, just speak the password, and the doors will open," in your best Gandalf impersonation. You were then greeted with blank looks.

10. You read so much Tolkien, that if your friends see you without a book written by him, they become seriously concerned about you.

9. You cry every time you read The Breaking of the Fellowship, or at the end of The Return of the King every time you watch/read it. (And I mean EVERY TIME.)

8. You'd give anything to live in Middle Earth, even if it was for just one day.

7. Your friends can now tune you out very well, because they are so used to you going on and on (and on and on) about Tolkien's symbolism, and Tolkien's books, and Tolkien's life, ect.

6. Instead of your parents grounding you, they take away your Lord of the Rings DVDs. You then shout, "Cruel men hurts us, my precious!"

5. You've written fan fiction for Lord of the Rings. (Let's face it, who hasn't?)

4. When someone asks you who J.R.R. Tolkien is, you almost have a heart attack.

3. You find yourself writing essays and reports about Tolkien or his work….in elvish….just for fun.

2. You're re-reading Lord of the Rings, and even though you've seen the movie more times than you can count, and have already read the books more than everyone else you know put together, you still get sucked in every time. In fact one time, you stayed up so late re-reading The Two Towers that you fell asleep during your Algebra mid-term the next day. (Try not to drool on the test, it doesn't go down well with teachers, trust me.)

1. While reading this, your thinking "What?!?!!? This person thinks THEY'RE obsessed? I've done WAY more crap than that…"

(A/N- Thanks for taking the time to read. BTW, if you actually WERE thinking that you'd done worse stuff than me... tell me, I'd love to hear it!)


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